Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Ten Lessons on Happiness, We Learn as Children


We are not born unhappy or fearful, but if we’re not careful the sheer weight of living may end up turning us into miserable ogres. Here are a few pointers we may learn from our younger happier selves:


1. Sharing is caring: Remember when mom, or the teacher would repeat tell you that? Well, it’s true. We’re not talking crayons anymore, though. Share your life lessons, pay it forward, and listen, really listen to others. Make someone else happy, too. You’ll be surprised at the level of joy that may bring into your life.


2. Be forgetful: Children are so resilient, precisely because they have a short memory. If you let it, life may provide endless reasons to be miserable. Your actions may not lead to the desired results, people may not live up to your expectations. No matter what, remember the lesson, discard the negative emotion, and move forward. 

3. Say Please and Thank You: Another childhood mantra. This may work in a couple of ways: Treat people with the kindness and respect you would like to be treated, but also take stalk of your life. Be thankful for the good things, and take any challenge or difficulty as an opportunity for growth. 

4. Be Deaf to Negatives. We’ve all been there as children staring at the raised index finger of an adult telling us “don’t do that!!" while we mischievously plot our next move. More likely than not, we have since internalized that exact phrase, which comes out of our mouths as "I can’t" or “I shouldn’t." Well, snap out of it;  stop asking for permission, and focus your energy on achieving and just being.

5. Laugh Hard and Often: Adults are forever devising games to elicit a smile or a giggle from a child, and as kids we find it easy to laugh. It’s so sad that we often think of adulthood as the serious phase of our lives. I beg to differ. Humor is the salt that seasons an otherwise insipid life. Besides, a little ironic distance has never hurt anybody.

6. Hug Often and with Vigour: Here’s another expression of joy that is taken away from us when we reach adulthood. I’m not saying you should initiate inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. Perhaps, hugging the mail man may be a bit too much, but hug the people you love. Take advantages of naturally occurring wonder-neurotransmitters. Read up on oxytocin, if you dont believe me.

7. Be Good to Yourself: As children we’re all about hedonism we do, eat, and say what we want when we want it, but by the time we’re all grown up weve turned into stoics. What’s up with that? All I’m saying is schedule that weekly visits to the Spa, take regular naps, don’t lose the love of idle play. Meditate, practice yoga, take a walk in the park or a nice luxurious lavender bath, give your body and mind a chance to slow down.

8. Have a ME-Moment: I’m not suggesting we should all be that annoying selfish brat we hated even as kids, but rather have the reverence for the hard work you put in. Celebrate it by doing something you love every day.It can be something as simple as cooking yourself a fantastic dinner (or going out for one), or setting aside an hour to work on your memoir, learn a new language or practice your guitar.

9. Stop the Compulsive Thoughts: Children live in the moment, they don’t have enough past to be obsessed by it, and the future (the way we conceive of it in our adult minds) is pure science fiction. All that counts is the present. There is a lesson to be learned: When it comes to thinking, less is more. Too much of it, and we run the risk of crossing over into neurosis.

10. When Everything Else Fails, Chocolate: Im not joking (ok, I am just a little).  Have a reserve of fine quality chocolate in your fridge (Id advise on Belgian or Swiss. Nutella also works, but not as well). Nothing like feeding your inner child every so often. Plus its scientifically proven chocolate makes you happy. Skeptic again? Read up on  phenylethylamine and cannabinoids in chocolate.

About the Author

Rita Gagliano is a Certified Coach Practitioner at Lavandula Wellness Center. You can follow her blog at http://www.thrivedynamics.ca, or book an appointment at http://www.lavandulawellnesscentre.com/.

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